My high school graduation dinner. The first picture I took with my mom and dad since their divorce. My favorite picture.

I remember crying. I remember banging my small fists on my second-floor bedroom window. I remember my mom waving at me from the driveway, smiling as she was smoking a cigarette. I remember her blowing me a kiss. And then I remember her leaving.

I must have been only 5 years old, but I remember the night when my mom told us that she had to leave, that she loves me and that my dad is a good man.

Divorce wasn’t a word that I could understand, or that I even knew at the time. What I did know was…


A photo of Kyle Panganiban’s streaming setup promoted by @zekyo_ on Instagram. Courtesy of Kyle Panganiban

He slowly approached a group of kids on the elementary school playground. As a skinny, tall for his age, spiky-haired third grader, Kyle Panganiban was anxious meeting new people. The sound of handballs slapping off the concrete wall echoed as he crept toward the line of children waiting to play the next game. Huddled in front of him, the group of kids could be heard discussing their favorite games. Mario, Donkey Kong and Star Fox were among the many mentioned. After a lull in the conservation, Kyle nervously interjected. “I play Pokemon,” he quietly added.

Playing video games as a…


Passion doesn’t come from greatness. Actually, it’s the other way around.

The sound of chattering students, the clicking of pens and the zipping of bags filled the air. Words on the paper reflected on his glasses while at the Los Angeles Valley College Writing Center. Thoughts of being better flooded his mind, but it wouldn’t come easy.

Reading articles from The New York Times, Washington Post and Boston Globe became his regimen and reading books recommended by his professor became his practice. And he would practice everyday.

Seeing progression in a skill that was once his weakest ability sparked an interest in him. In the Spring of 2018, at 26, he found something that he was passionate about. Something he wanted to do. Something he needed to do. Journalism was “an open opportunity,” he said. And he took it.


Unlike most mainstream stories about finding what you love to do, my story started by trying a bunch of things that I hated.

I find that most writers can talk about their passion for storytelling much easier than I ever could. Journalism and writing to me is just putting words together. It’s an attempt to explain something in words: a situation, an experience, an emotion. It seems like such a menial thing until you try it for yourself. And all I really do is try.

I’m not new to learning. My collegiate education started at College of the Canyons in…

Patrick Pamanian

I’m an aspiring journalist studying at CSUN who often finds therapy in yelling at the TV during Lakers games.

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